I love weddings, even when I’m not the bride.

This one is a bit different. I got my lapband on and I haven’t lost all the weight yet. I know it’s not the end of the world but I left the town where the wedding is just after I’d lost my first 30 pounds. I still needed another 20 off and they’re nearly all still with me. I worry that I’m going to be asked “How come it didn’t work??”

What do I say?

“Uhhh, I lost it all and then I found it?” It’s not true. “I went through a hellish 2 1/2 years and I didn’t care if I lost weight?” That’s too much information for people who care about me.

I’m going to think positively and assume all my old friends will be glad to see us at the wedding and nobody will care that I’m not skinny. If they do, are they really friends at all?

My dear husband has been eating rabbit food for the past 2 weeks. He says he’s trying to feel better but I know he wants to look good at the wedding. I’m not sure why I can’t get my head in that space but it just won’t fit right now. I’m not gorging on chocolate truffles but my portion size could stand a cutback.

Do you ever find yourself wishing you had the determination to take it all off.. NOW ? That’s what I’m searching for – determination.

When people get to my age we often get up in the morning and touch all over just to see what new thing hurts today.   It’s okay though, most of the time it’s nothing serious.

If you’re honest,  you’ll admit to having a quick peek into the toilet after leaving a load, right?  Well, I had a peek today and was convinced that I was in trouble.  I’ve been told if it looks really dark, you’d better see the doctor for a check.

So off I went to call to make an appointment while visions of horrible poop chute ailments reeled around in my head.  I was able to get an appointment for tomorrow and was really pleased with the concern of the receptionist at the doctor’s office.

Later I was sitting around just mulling what might be the end of my life. (do I sound wacky to you too?)  I remembered that I felt homesick for the kids in Atlanta and Orlando the night before and THAT’S when it hit me.  I wasn’t dying at all.

You see, when I get homesick I eat American food.  It’s just something I’ve always done.  It makes me feel closer I suppose.  Well, eat a stack of Oreos and then have a quick peek in the toilet.  Yup, REALLY dark stuff in there.  I remember the first time my son had an oreo cookie he was in diapers (in a previous century) and that’s where I learned about the “Oreo Syndrome.”

So I’m pleased to tell you that I cancelled my doctor’s appointment and the receptionist was cracking up and couldn’t wait to tell the lady who works with her.

Golly it takes a long time to get things put away when you move from one country to another. I kept thinking I’d have everything whipped into shape in no time but I wasn’t thinking about how old I am nor how much crap I had to put away.

Okay, to be honest, I have a garage that’s packed from floor to ceiling with boxes and “stuff” and I have one bedroom that is full of boxes of books from our library which we don’t have in this house. It’s also got the frame for the pool table, no room for that either. It’s got the treadmill, rowing machine, stationary bicycle and exercise gym in there too.

At least I have a guest room that looks nice and is ready for someone to sleep in there. It was embarrassing because one of the bedrooms is off the foyer and until this week didn’t have doors. It had the bed and box spring, two leather chairs, 2 42″ plasma tvs in boxes, all the bed linens, blankets, bedspreads, pillows, etc and other stuff that had to find a new home.

We’ve found the nicest lady to come in to help me clean and get things better organized and that’s made my life livable. It’s amazing but I thought I could work 12 hours a day AND still make this place a home.

Now.. for the “I’ve been stupid” note of the month. I was making no-knead bread the other day. If you haven’t tried it, you’ve gotta. All you do is stir the ingredients and sit it in a bowl overnight, flop it on a floured board the next morning and fold the edges over and then bake it in a really hot cast iron pot. I’ve made this bread heaps of times and it’s fantastic cut into small pieces and dipped in a good olive oil and dukkah. On Saturday I had the pot in the oven at 450F and I took it out to plop the bread in and the pot holder had a wet spot and I started to get burnt (it IS 450F afterall) so I did what anyone would do.. I dropped one half of the pot. –on to the ceramic cook top. Glass slivers and cracks everywhere.

So, now I have to go to the appliance store and pick up the new cooktop that I ordered the other day. We’ll need a qualified electrician to hook it up so he’s showing up tomorrow. Fingers crossed that it fits in the granite cutout. I measured it twice so hopefully I’m okay. I don’t want to be cutting granite.

We’ve moved!  We’re no longer in the Bay of Islands in New Zealand.  We now live on the Sunshine Coast of Australia.  It’s absolutely beautiful here.  Great climate, friendly people and lots to see and do.

Mooloolaba seems to fit us perfectly.  We’re living on the canal to the ocean and we’re less than 5 minutes from the dog friendly park and the mile of dogs off leash beach.

Yesterday we decided to go for a quick lunch on the beach with Charlie, our cavoodle.  He loves to chase the frisbee and he loves to swim – perfect combination.  So we made some sandwiches and headed to the beach.

After laying out the blanket I got our lunch out while my hubby tossed the frisbee.  He sat down and we started eating and Charlie decided to go for a quick swim.  He ran up to us with a great doggy smile and shook sand and water all over us — and our sandwiches.

We had a great time but I think we’ll do the eating before we do the frisbee throwing and swimming.

Today we went to the dog friendly park about 4pm just to take a break.  We took the frisbee and he caught it until he was really tired — then over the rocks he went and into the river (that leads to the ocean).  Thankfully we weren’t eating and there are picnic tables that the dog shakings won’t reach.

Hopefully we’ll have the house put together soon.  At the moment our garage is packed to the rafters with so much crap that we can’t get the cars inside.  My next job is to organize a garage sale.  We have a plot of grass that’s about 3′ x 12′.  It’s small enough that I could cut the grass with scissors.  Everything else is landscaped garden beds covered in mulch.

Wish me luck!

We’re back in Australia looking for a place to live (we have found something!) and my husband picked up a book by the actor and comedian Dawn French, Dear Fatty. Not sure how much air time her work gets in the US but some of the shows she’s been in are The Vicar of Dibley, Jam and Jerusalem and Murder Most Horrid.  I find her really funny and willing to do most anything for a laugh.

I started reading the book and immediately realized that it’s possible to feel okay in my body in spite of all the different bits and bobs that I think are less than optimum. Her book is the book we’d all write if we could be that honest about the things that have happened in our lives.

The book is funny and heartwarming and it made me feel good.  She’s an ordinary person who has done extraordinary things.  She’s proven that size doesn’t limit your success if you’re determined to get there.  So if you’ve been at all like me and everything must wait “til I’m thin” then read this book.  Check out her videos on youtube and you’ll be like I am and ready to take on whatever we want to.

We’re back in Australia looking for a house again but I brought something with me from New Zealand that’s making this a very long day.  What am I bringing?  Everything I’ve eaten over the past few days.

My internal plumbing could use a roto-rooter.  I don’t know if all overweight people have trouble with constipation but most of my spherical friends also have this same problem.  Maybe it’s because we’re all women over 50, I really don’t know.  I just know I was miserable when I got here and I stayed miserable all night.

I was up before 7 and off to the grocery store to buy necessary supplies.  First I got some chocolate laxatives that tasted like shit..  oh wait.. maybe that was part of the cure.  Then I got a bag of prunes.  Then I added some kiwifruit.  Then Mr. Gettingthin brought a big bag of mixed dry fruit and apples.

Once I eat all this I will poo for an entire day I’m sure.  That’s okay though because I will feel better.

I know that for me, once I had the lapband surgery, if I eat more than I should, I do get constipated. My doctor says the same thing your doctor says, “eat more fibre.” I try but I think the problem lies with fibre not being as tasty as say, a cookie.

What’s your tried and true cure for constipation?  Everyone that I talked to today had a different recommendation, so that’s why I have the prunes, laxatives, kiwifruit and mixed dried fruit and apples. 

Off to view another house.  We saw one this morning that was really lovely but it doesn’t have air conditioning in the office where we would both work.  Imagine living in Miami and working all day during the summer with no air conditioning.  Scary thought.  I lived in Florida before moving to Australia so I know I couldn’t bear it.  If the guy renovating the house adds an a/c unit to that room it would be perfect for us.

Fingers crossed!

It seems like it’s been raining for years.  When it stops will I recognize the sun?  I’m not sure.

Winter is here, it gets dark before 6pm and it rains and rains and rains.  When I walk across the grass it squooshes and makes a sound as my foot presses down into it.  I was doing well getting out and walking with my little friend Charlie the wonderdog but I’m not game enough to walk in the rain in the winter.

1. it’s wet
2. it’s cold
3. it’s gloomy
4. I can’t seem to move away from the wood heater

What do you do to get motivated when it’s so dreary all you want to do is take a nap?  I haven’t succumbed to the nap desire because I have too much work to do but given the right conditions, I could pile up in my bed with a book or turn on the TV without blinking an eye.

I read that many people are deficient in vitamin D and around here it must be rampant!  There is a reason New Zealand is called the land of the long white cloud.

Now you know why we’re looking in southern Queensland for a house.  Sidewalks (footpaths), stores, beach, boats – and best of all… sun.  They don’t call it the Sunshine Coast for nothing.

See what I mean?

See?  Gray…  gloomy… dreary…

It’s amazing that when I stack wood my blood sugar drops to a point where anyone would be tickled pink to have it there.   After stacking wood I have no obvious signs of diabetes by looking at my blood results. So why doesn’t regular exercise do the same thing? It should, but for me it doesn’t.

When stacking wood I don’t exert myself as much as I do when I work out at the gym, so why is wood stacking so much better for me healthwise? I don’t know.

I’ve thought of hiring myself out to stack wood but I don’t really have that much time when I’m not working or cooking or cleaning or sleeping. I’ve thought of several things that I do when I stack wood that I don’t normally do when I work out.

1. I bend over a lot
2. I carry something heavy for a few steps
3. Sometimes I have to lift the wood higher than my chest
4. Rinse and repeat

So now I’m going to go to the gym and see if I can replicate my results by picking up a 5 lb weight and walking a few steps and putting it down.  I’ll look stupid but I think it’s worth it to figure out why one activity that SHOULD equal the other in benefits, doesn’t.

Yes, it’s Autumn in New Zealand and my job of stacking firewood has begun. It’s amazing though, last year when I stacked the wood my blood sugar would drop to lower than the average “normal” range every time I would work for more than 15 minutes. So it was with eager anticipation that I watched the truck drop 6 cubic metres of firewood last Saturday.

I tool my blood sugar before going out to stack wood for the first time. It was just a bit above normal. I stacked wood for about 30 minutes before deciding that my old back wasn’t as good as it was when I was 34. Sure enough, my blood sugar was in the “really good” range.

I’ve done exercise at the gym, I’ve gone speed walking and while both activities lowered my blood sugar, nothing has lowered it like stacking firewood. The old adage is that working with firewood heats you up twice. It certainly works for me.

Every afternoon I will stack for 30 minutes until it’s all neatly stacked waiting for us to burn it to keep us warm this winter. When living in the US everyone has central heating and cooling.. at least most everyone. Here in New Zealand most houses are kept warm by a wood heater in the lounge/living room and that’s it. It gets cold and living with nothing between us and the ocean, we get some pretty good winds where we are.

I’ve got a good start on the pile. It’s early days yet. I suspect it will take a week or so to get it all stacked neatly and covered. The house we’re renting here in New Zealand is now on the market. We’ve decided to move back to Australia and to that end we’re going back this week to look at some houses. Now that the big house has been sold we have a lot more options. We’re thinking of living near a beach for a while. We’ve enjoyed living on the water here in the Bay of Islands but our recent trip back to Australia has us hankering for a return.

Whenever I stack wood, I have my trusty pal Charlie to do the heavy onlooking and to check out all the new smells that have come to visit since he was last outside on the front of the house. He usually stays in the fenced area facing the ocean so he thinks it’s a real treat to check out the front of the house where the cats are permitted to go. Chasing Lucy up a tree is apparently great fun. Not so much fun for Lucy I think.

We work in the room with the wood heater (and the kitchen) and when it’s bedtime one of us goes in first and turns on the electric blanket. It’s okay once you get used to it but it’s lots different from setting the thermostat and expecting all rooms to be the same temperature. If that’s what you’ve got – you’re spoiled! Come and help me stack wood!

Stacking wood is a really good exercise for me because the wood isn’t really heavy so it acts like lifting weights and bending over for every piece means that my body is getting a much better workout than sitting in my work chair facing the computer screen all day. I should think about offering to stack other people’s woodpile, don’t you think?

p.s. Shaggy Charlie gets clipped tomorrow… he’ll look like a brand new dog!

Doesn’t it bug you when someone says they’re getting back on track and “this time it’s going to be different”? Then you’d probably be really pissed off when I say that *finally* the house in Australia has been sold, all our stuff has been put in storage and we’re out from under the mortgage, the gardener, the upkeep, the taxes and everything else that goes with having a big house – especially one you’re not living in.

I can relax and think about ME for a while. No more financial stress and anxiety. We’re not poor but we weren’t rich enough to pay for 2 houses once the global economic meltdown happened. We earn US dollars which was a great thing when the US dollar earned us 2 Australian dollars. Now that the US dollar has devalued it’s about equal so our income was effectively cut in half. Yuck. Add to that the number of people in the US who aren’t buying much of anything because they don’t dare, resulting in our overall business has taken a hit as well. Nothing to be worried about but nobody wants to be digging a financial hole.

When you’re stressed do you resort to eating a piece of pie to feel better? Eating is a stress reliever for a lot of us and it’s not easy to conquer. I’m told that it’s a result of being rewarded with sweets as a kid by our mothers and it’s even more prevalent in people who only felt loved when their mother gave them a cookie. I’d be in that second group. My mother was nice enough but I always felt that I was too much trouble or in the way. No sympathy needed – honestly – I know I’m lovable. The eating thing is a part of my early childhood programming and it’s a daily struggle. I recognize it much of the time but when the stress REALLY hits, I hit the fridge at breakneck speed.

So about this starting over. I’m seriously going to get back on track with my walking, diet and yoga. The walking to get me out of the house and spend some time with Charlie the Wonder Dog, the diet to eat good things for my body and let the lapband do its work and yoga to get me centered and calm to my core. I’m looking forward to it with a smile.

Thanks a lot for the encouragement you’ve all given to me – it means a lot.