I suppose a smoker wouldn’t worry about the ceiling any more than they’d worry about the warning on a cigarette pack.  Smoking isn’t funny but this room is! 

For those of us who are not only overweight but also emotional eaters, we need to find a way of rewarding ourselves and getting a “feel good” feeling from something other than food.  I would guess that most people like me went through a rough patch in their early lives when food rewards made us feel better and we’ve never been able to get past that.

So what can we do?  What reward system would give us a pat on the back in the same way that food has historically done for us?  The only difference would be no guilt or remorse for overeating at the end.

1. Give  yourself a compliment.  Go ahead, go to the mirror and look at yourself and give yourself a compliment.  Maybe you’ve been kind to someone today.  Maybe you really like the arch of your eyebrows.  Maybe you like the way you smile.  There’s always something about us to be complimented on.
2. Get some sticky notes and write a message that’s meaningful to you and stick it to the fridge or the bathroom mirror.   For instance; “I have gone 2 days without binge eating!”
3. Pamper yourself.  I know we’re all really busy with our lives and there’s never enough time to take care of ourselves properly but today, just do it.  Put yourself first.  Don’t mow the lawn.  Don’t go shopping.  Don’t do anything that you don’t feel like doing.  It’s a great buzz to do this every once in a while.  You will feel special through and through.
4. Set small goals for your weight loss.  When you reach one — reward yourself.  I use a piggy bank and when I’ve lost a kilo (2.2 lbs) I put in $5.   What will I do with it?  I have no idea but just knowing it’s there and I got it by losing weight makes me feel good.
5. Start a new hobby.  Sure, none of us have time for that but what’s the real reason you wouldn’t do it?  You feel that you “should” spend your time doing for others.  That’s crap!  I’m guilty of that too but I’m trying to wean myself from it.  You don’t have to live for your new hobby but take some time every day to do something you enjoy.  Golf, tennis, knitting, cards, gardening – you name it.  Permit yourself some time during every day to your hobby.  It might be as little as making a date for tennis.

That’s my thoughts for the day.  Do you have ways to reward yourself that you’d like to share with others.  I know I’m not the only emotional eater out there.

Comfort foods reduce stress.  It’s official.  What we emotional eaters have known for years.  Now if they could tell us how to reduce stress without eating, I’d be much happier — and thinner.

From TheAge newspaper in Melbourne, Australia November 27th, 2009.

Australian scientists have confirmed what many chocoholics already know, that “comfort food” can reduce stress.

Eating foods rich in fat and sugar can alter the chemical composition of the brain and reduce anxiety, says Professor of Pharmacology Margaret Morris.

Prof Morris, from the University of NSW School of Medical Sciences, conducted a study of rats which showed the effects of past trauma could be erased through “unlimited access to yummy food”.

“Implementing that diet reversed their anxiety … it took an animal back to the non-stressed state,” Prof Morris told AAP.

“We really don’t know why that happens but there seems to be a biochemical link.”

The research started with different groups of baby rats – one group grew up with normal contact with their mothers, while the other group had lengthy periods of separation.

Rats with a more traumatic early life were found to have higher levels of stress hormones and fewer steroid receptors in the part of the brain which controls behaviour.

The signals for “anxiety and depression” eventually disappeared among those rats who were later switched to the all-you-can-eat junk food diet.

“The control group had no effect from the diet really, but the stressed animals had a deficit … which was restored by the diet.”

“(The) food seems to affect neurogenesis similar to the way anti-depressants promote nerve growth in the brain.”

Prof Morris cautioned while the results were not immediately transferable to people, it did show support “the therapeutic value of comfort food” and hint at explanations for other patterns of human behaviour.

“If you ask people what they eat when they are stressed, they eat more chocolate, cakes and sweets, and less fish, vegetables and fruit,” she said.

And: “There is good evidence that if we look at people who have experienced trauma as a child tend to be heavier as adults”.

The study also should not be seen as an endorsement of eating junk food, Prof Morris said, noting this would set people on a path to other serious health problems.

Future research would aim to determine whether other rewarding activities – such as exercise – could have a similar stress-busting affect on rats’ brains.

The research was conducted jointly with PHD student Jayanthi Maniam, and it is published in the journal psychoneuroendrocrinology.

I was determined not to overeat on Thanksgiving.  Ok, I know I’m in New Zealand but while you can take the woman out of America, you can’t take the America out of the woman.  So I always have Thanksgiving dinner.  This year WAS different for me.

I’m sure I’m not alone in saying that every Thanksgiving you prepare all your favorite things that you’ve enjoyed year after year around the holidays.  Right?  This year I didn’t.  I didn’t make my grandmother’s stuffing because I know I can’t leave it alone.  I didn’t make ANY fancy desserts because again, I would sneak a bite here and there when I was feeling low.  I cooked enough for one nice dinner and I ate more protein than I usually do because we eat a lot of beef and I have a tough time getting it chewed well enough to slip through the lap band.

After dinner I felt terrific and didn’t have any “after Thanksgiving dinner remorse” that I remember so well for SO many years.  Did you overeat or did you trim the menu this year so you wouldn’t be so tempted?

After my recent problems with my computer and wordpress, I often felt like Costello when talking to the computer people!

Imagine how the conversation would go when Costello goes to Abbott to buy a new computer.

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO: Thanks I’m setting up an office in my den and I’m thinking about buying a computer.

ABBOTT: Mac?

COSTELLO: No, the name’s Lou.

ABBOTT: Your computer?

COSTELLO: I don’t own a computer. I want to buy one.

ABBOTT: Mac?

COSTELLO: I told you, my name’s Lou.

ABBOTT: What about Windows?

COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?

ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?

COSTELLO: I don’t know. What will I see when I look at the windows?

ABBOTT: Wallpaper.

COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.

ABBOTT: Software for Windows?

COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?

ABBOTT: I just did.

COSTELLO: You just did what?

ABBOTT: Recommend something.

COSTELLO: You recommended something?

ABBOTT: Yes.

COSTELLO: For my office?

ABBOTT: Yes.

COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!

ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.

COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let’s just say I’m sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?

ABBOTT: Word.

COSTELLO: What word?

ABBOTT: Word in Office.

COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.

ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.

COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?

ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue ‘W’.

COSTELLO: I’m going to click your blue ‘w’ if you don’t start with some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: That’s right. What do you have?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?

ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.

COSTELLO: What’s bundled with my computer?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?

ABBOTT: Yes.. No extra charge.

COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?

ABBOTT: One copy.

COSTELLO: Isn’t it illegal to copy money?

ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.

COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?

ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!

(A few days later)

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?

ABBOTT: Click on ‘START’……….…

For those of us who are trying mightily to lose weight, we often dread the holidays because we know from past experience how those old familiar smells will get to us.  Think about walking in to your family home and smelling the freshly baked bread and pumpkin pie just out of the oven.  It not only brings the sensation that you really want to eat some, it brings back memories of a happy time.  Researchers will tell us that smell is one of the biggest things that can recall memories.

I was on the phone today with my son in Atlanta and he’s having similar problems.  Maybe it’s genetic.  He told me that he loved being with all his family for the holiday but he is feeling guilty ahead of time that he’s eaten too much.  How sad is that?

Every year about this time I sit down and think to myself that this year will be different.  I won’t eat all my favorite foods because I know as soon as I swallow I’ll regret it.  I crave the feeling I get when I eat food that brings back happy memories.  Maybe I’m just nuts in addition to being overweight.

My lapband is still in place and although I talk about overeating like I eat 9 platesful at every meal, I don’t.  I haven’t gained any weight but I still haven’t lost the last 30 pounds.  I know I’ll feel better healthwise if I get it off and I know I’ll be more active if I do, so I’m committed to getting it off.

Maybe I should just stick to a New Year resolution and enjoy myself.

You’re wondering where I’ve been?  Lots of people are but that’s a different story. 

Somehow my wordpress login stopped working.  Can you get people to help you when you’re having trouble?  Sure but it’s gonna take a while.  A while was til today.

So I apologize that I haven’t updated anything since the first report on our trip to Europe with “the olds”.  Life has gone on, however, and I’ll begin talking about my weight loss again.  I put on some weight during our trip.  Let’s say Ille Flottant in Paris Salzburger Nokerl, and Pavlova back in Australia added to my undoing.  Can you tell that I like meringue?

The holidays are upon us and I need to ensure that I don’t eat the wrong things.  With a gastric band, we’re limited on the amount we can eat so if we eat the wrong things, we risk not getting enough nutrition.  It’s possible to gain weight if all you eat is sweet stuff.  That’s where the emotional eating problem really kicks in.

Let’s say for instance the feeling is, “I feel bad today and if I had something sweet, I’d feel better.  I always felt better when my mother said, ‘there there, it’s okay, have a cookie’.”  I know that once I conquer the need to eat to feel better, then I’ll have the weight issues under control.

What are your ways to beat the munchies on a bad day?

After my stepson’s graduation we took my husband’s parents to Scotland to visit cousins who live there while we headed to Aberdeen to visit friends of ours.  The following day we picked them up and flew to London.  We were eagerly anticipating seeing the show War Horse that had received heaps of accolades in the press both in London and back in Australia.

My father-in-law was paying for the four of us plus his grandson, his grandson’s girlfriend and my husband’s ex-wife who was there for graduation and to help my stepson organize getting all his crap back to Australia after 5 years at university.  I wasn’t too sure about the show choice.  I would have preferred a musical but the ex and my stepson were really keen to see this War Horse play.

The show is about a horse (obviously) as a young foal and all that happens to him as he makes his way towards becoming a war horse in the first world war.   Joey is an imposing puppet (full size freakin horse puppet) made of bamboo, nylon, bicycle chain and leather, and its three human operators are clearly visible, but not long into the show the horse ceases to be a puppet and is perceived by everyone in the autidence to be a living, breathing force onstage.

Well, the only thing fantastic about the play to me were the puppets.  Horses and a funny goose caught my eye.  The actual play I thought was pretty ordinary.  So here I am sitting with all the family thinking, “it will be awful if I’m the only one to think this is less than stellar writing.”

The play ended and my father-in-law (remember he’s 90 and he’s paid a fortune for the 7 tickets) comes out of the theatre and everyone is raving about how fantastic the puppets were and Rob says, “the puppets were ok but the whole thing was pretty ordinary if you ask me.”

Turns out, it was the only thing on the whole trip that we really didn’t enjoy.  Watch for the post on taking him to the Moulin Rouge!

The trip to Europe with “the olds” as we lovingly call John’s parents was a spectacular success, with only a few small hiccups.  The first day, just getting to Australia to pick them up, John lost all the train tickets.  Train tickets are like cash, you lose, you really lose.  So $4000 later and a dash to meet someone from the ticketing agency at the airport in Melbourne, we had new tickets.  Only $4000 dear, it’s only money, we can claim it on insurance if we lost them or they were stolen.  (Notice how I said we when we both know HE had the tickets, but then he was stressing and worrying big time.)

Off we went to England.  The main focus on the trip was to attend my stepson’s graduation at Reading University in England.  It all went off perfectly and everyone was happy.  It had been 9 months since John had seen his son so he couldn’t wait to catch up at dinner that night.  Now John’s dad is 90 and he’d been flying from Australia to England and he was exhausted.  Sure we had flat seats to lie down on but he’s still pretty old.  He insisted on going to dinner anyway but halfway through he started feeling very uncomfortable due to arthritis.

We drove back to our hotel and I took the olds up to their room while John went around the block and through the village to get to the back of the hotel to the parking garage.  When he got in I asked him to ring his parents and check to make sure his dad was ok.

“Not until I have had my shower!” he said.  He did ring their room and there was no answer so I started getting concerned.  Why didn’t I go? Ummm..  I’d collapsed on the bed and well, they are HIS parents after all.

When he came out  of the shower I asked him to check again and still no answer in their room.

“Put your pants on and go check on them or we’ll never be able to rest tonight,” I begged.

Off he went and he was gone about 20 minutes.  I figured he was having a chat with them and he’d be back and I was so tired that frankly it didn’t matter.  He was dealing with them and I could relax.

20 minutes later he comes in the room and he’s laughing.

“I rounded the corner and there there both were wandering the hallway in their jammies.”

“Why?”

“When I rang the phone, dad was in the loo and he knew that mum couldn’t hear the phone so he hurried out to answer it.  He came out the door and turned left and opened the door to the room instead of turning right and going around to where the bed and the phone was.  He knocked on the door but mum couldn’t hear him, so he started looking for our room but he couldn’t remember the number so he was wandering around hoping one room would look familiar.”

“What did you do?” I asked.

“When mum realized that he wasn’t in the room she thought he was having a senile moment and had taken off so she ran out of the room and then heard ‘click’ when the door closed.  She decided to worry about that later and find him first.  She went up and down all 4 halls and finally found him and when I got there, she was scolding him merrily and it was all his fault that they were outside in their jammies.”

“So what did you do???” I asked again.

“Oh, I went downstairs and asked for a key to their room and the guy asked me if I had any ID and I said no and he said he couldn’t help me without ID for that room.  So I told him my parents, dad is 90 and mum is 84, were wandering the halls in their pajamas and could he send someone up to let them in their room.  They didn’t have ID either.  So he gave me the key and I let them in and settled them down and they’re fine.”

That was day one.  It was a great trip, although taking really old people on a European holiday is like taking little kids. You can’t yell at them and you can’t hit them.

I told you that I hurt my back before we left on our trip to England.  I saw a physiotherapist and a doctor and finally the day before we left home I had a massage.

When I lived in Australia I had a massage guy that was fantastic but since I’ve lived in New Zealand I haven’t found anyone who always finds the right spots that are causing problems.  Not until this guy.

We spent a few minutes talking about what I’d had done since I started feeling crap and then he asked me to get on the table.  Good enough for most people but the guy is well over 6′ tall and he had to bring a chair over for me to climb on to get on the table.  Normally that isn’t a good sign because I don’t like dwelling on the fact that I’m shorter than most people.

I let it pass because I could tell in an instant that he was from Canada.  I’m from Maine so it was never far from Canada when I was growing up.

The massage went well and I could tell he was hitting all the right spots and then he said, “I’d like you to lie on your left side and draw your weenies up.”

I raised my head and must have had the most quizzical look on my face as I said, “I don’t have a weenie.”

He fell about laughing.  He was laughing so hard that he had to sit down.

“Darlin, I said wee knees.  I lived in Dunedin in the South Island for a long time and we say wee for everything.”

Ok, I had to laugh.

My back is much better and the flight from Auckland to Melbourne to Singapore to Dubai to London went off without a hitch.  We’re settled in the hotel and it’s my turn for the shower.