I don’t know about you, but I know why I’m fat.  I eat too much.  I eat the wrong foods and I don’t get enough exercise.  That’s what all the experts tell us over and over again.  Why?  because they’re right.

In the past, and by past I mean before my lapband surgery, I found all sorts of excuses to eat more than I should.  I used that worn out line when I went to restaurants, “They wouldn’t put this much on the plate if they didn’t think this was a standard serving size,” so I’d eat what they put on there.  It tasted good and I was enjoying myself.

Then I’d go home and I’d plate up as much dinner as I got at the restaurant – obviously they knew the correct portion size or they wouldn’t be putting it on there.  Logic says they wouldn’t give you more than you should eat because that’s wasting food if people don’t eat it.

I could go on and on with examples of how I justified eating more than my body required but deep down, I always knew that I was simply eating too much for my small body’s frame.  I’m only 5′ tall.  I’ll never need more than about 1000 calories if I don’t start moving around and exercising.

Starting last week, I’m walking for an hour a day and I’m going back to my surgeon for another fill of my lapband so that it will restrict how much I can eat.   I’m seeing a nutritional psychologist on Thursday morning to help me get a handle on emotional eating.  I’m going to start listing all the things he suggests that I do so that maybe YOU can get your emotional eating under control too.

Wish me luck!

I got up this morning and as we all do from time to time, I thought I’d try on some clothes that I couldn’t wear to see how many months I think it will be before I get wear them again.  So first I tried on a pair of brand new size 16 pants and they were big!!!  I’ve been wearing my old big clothes so it’s hard to tell that you’re getting smaller.  I was quite stoked that the lapband is still working because I thought after my recent fill that I was still eating too much.  The numbers are going down slowly on the scales.

Then I thought, I’ve got 2 pair of size 12/14 jeans on the shelf in the closet, I’ll see how long it will take to get into those.  I know, I know..  brave of me but guess what??

I’m wearing them now !

I flew out of the bedroom and danced around for my husband who said, “Just what ARE you doing?”

“Look, what do you think??” I said eagerly.

“You still have scars on your tummy?” he said.

“Uhhh… no, the jeans, what do you think of the jeans?”

“They’re ok, but jeans are jeans,” he said while still looking at me funny.

Finally I blurted out, “They’re size 12/14!!!”

Ahhh.. the lightbulb went off and he told me how proud he was of me and that before I knew it I’d be wearing smaller clothes.  There’s a reason I picked him. He’s the best moral support I could ever find.  He loves me no matter what size I am and if I’m happy, he’s thrilled.

I checked in with my son and he hasn’t had the fill he needed so he’s putting weight back on.  He’s pretty much avoiding me because he knows he should make time to have it done.  I suspect he spent the money I sent for his yearly fills on household bills but I haven’t confirmed that yet.  Fingers crossed that he’ll get the fill and start losing again.