For those of us who are not only overweight but also emotional eaters, we need to find a way of rewarding ourselves and getting a “feel good” feeling from something other than food.  I would guess that most people like me went through a rough patch in their early lives when food rewards made us feel better and we’ve never been able to get past that.

So what can we do?  What reward system would give us a pat on the back in the same way that food has historically done for us?  The only difference would be no guilt or remorse for overeating at the end.

1. Give  yourself a compliment.  Go ahead, go to the mirror and look at yourself and give yourself a compliment.  Maybe you’ve been kind to someone today.  Maybe you really like the arch of your eyebrows.  Maybe you like the way you smile.  There’s always something about us to be complimented on.
2. Get some sticky notes and write a message that’s meaningful to you and stick it to the fridge or the bathroom mirror.   For instance; “I have gone 2 days without binge eating!”
3. Pamper yourself.  I know we’re all really busy with our lives and there’s never enough time to take care of ourselves properly but today, just do it.  Put yourself first.  Don’t mow the lawn.  Don’t go shopping.  Don’t do anything that you don’t feel like doing.  It’s a great buzz to do this every once in a while.  You will feel special through and through.
4. Set small goals for your weight loss.  When you reach one — reward yourself.  I use a piggy bank and when I’ve lost a kilo (2.2 lbs) I put in $5.   What will I do with it?  I have no idea but just knowing it’s there and I got it by losing weight makes me feel good.
5. Start a new hobby.  Sure, none of us have time for that but what’s the real reason you wouldn’t do it?  You feel that you “should” spend your time doing for others.  That’s crap!  I’m guilty of that too but I’m trying to wean myself from it.  You don’t have to live for your new hobby but take some time every day to do something you enjoy.  Golf, tennis, knitting, cards, gardening – you name it.  Permit yourself some time during every day to your hobby.  It might be as little as making a date for tennis.

That’s my thoughts for the day.  Do you have ways to reward yourself that you’d like to share with others.  I know I’m not the only emotional eater out there.

Comfort foods reduce stress.  It’s official.  What we emotional eaters have known for years.  Now if they could tell us how to reduce stress without eating, I’d be much happier — and thinner.

From TheAge newspaper in Melbourne, Australia November 27th, 2009.

Australian scientists have confirmed what many chocoholics already know, that “comfort food” can reduce stress.

Eating foods rich in fat and sugar can alter the chemical composition of the brain and reduce anxiety, says Professor of Pharmacology Margaret Morris.

Prof Morris, from the University of NSW School of Medical Sciences, conducted a study of rats which showed the effects of past trauma could be erased through “unlimited access to yummy food”.

“Implementing that diet reversed their anxiety … it took an animal back to the non-stressed state,” Prof Morris told AAP.

“We really don’t know why that happens but there seems to be a biochemical link.”

The research started with different groups of baby rats – one group grew up with normal contact with their mothers, while the other group had lengthy periods of separation.

Rats with a more traumatic early life were found to have higher levels of stress hormones and fewer steroid receptors in the part of the brain which controls behaviour.

The signals for “anxiety and depression” eventually disappeared among those rats who were later switched to the all-you-can-eat junk food diet.

“The control group had no effect from the diet really, but the stressed animals had a deficit … which was restored by the diet.”

“(The) food seems to affect neurogenesis similar to the way anti-depressants promote nerve growth in the brain.”

Prof Morris cautioned while the results were not immediately transferable to people, it did show support “the therapeutic value of comfort food” and hint at explanations for other patterns of human behaviour.

“If you ask people what they eat when they are stressed, they eat more chocolate, cakes and sweets, and less fish, vegetables and fruit,” she said.

And: “There is good evidence that if we look at people who have experienced trauma as a child tend to be heavier as adults”.

The study also should not be seen as an endorsement of eating junk food, Prof Morris said, noting this would set people on a path to other serious health problems.

Future research would aim to determine whether other rewarding activities – such as exercise – could have a similar stress-busting affect on rats’ brains.

The research was conducted jointly with PHD student Jayanthi Maniam, and it is published in the journal psychoneuroendrocrinology.

You’re wondering where I’ve been?  Lots of people are but that’s a different story. 

Somehow my wordpress login stopped working.  Can you get people to help you when you’re having trouble?  Sure but it’s gonna take a while.  A while was til today.

So I apologize that I haven’t updated anything since the first report on our trip to Europe with “the olds”.  Life has gone on, however, and I’ll begin talking about my weight loss again.  I put on some weight during our trip.  Let’s say Ille Flottant in Paris Salzburger Nokerl, and Pavlova back in Australia added to my undoing.  Can you tell that I like meringue?

The holidays are upon us and I need to ensure that I don’t eat the wrong things.  With a gastric band, we’re limited on the amount we can eat so if we eat the wrong things, we risk not getting enough nutrition.  It’s possible to gain weight if all you eat is sweet stuff.  That’s where the emotional eating problem really kicks in.

Let’s say for instance the feeling is, “I feel bad today and if I had something sweet, I’d feel better.  I always felt better when my mother said, ‘there there, it’s okay, have a cookie’.”  I know that once I conquer the need to eat to feel better, then I’ll have the weight issues under control.

What are your ways to beat the munchies on a bad day?

I went to the nutritional psychologist for another appointment.  The amount I’m spending on this journey of mine keeps going higher and higher but I feel like I’m getting closer to the reasons I look for comfort in food. Today we talked about anxiety being the reason I need to have something in my mouth.  Chocolate is ok but when I’m really stressing it could be anything, as long as I’m chewing.

I expected the shrink to tut tut when I told him that but he said I wasn’t alone.  Most everyone who eats for an emotional reason does the same thing.  Some crave salty foods, some crave chocolate and then there are people like Oprah and me who visit the pantry door or the open fridge and wait for something new to magically appear.

So today he asked me if I was familiar with EFT or tapping.  I remember reading something about tapping a few years ago but I pooh poohed it thinking it was pretty nutty.  Well, that’s where we’re delving now.  We spent much of the hour today talking about E=motional F=reedom T=echnique.  The theory behind it is that it’s similar to acupuncture in that it works on the connection of your body’s subtle connections.  It’s been called emotional acupuncture.

The tapping comes in when you identify something you want to get rid of in your life, like a memory of your mother saying something really awful to you when you were 7 and you always remember it with a negative emotion.

According to my doctor, while tapping on acupressure points along meridians, or pathways of energy throughout the body, and being tuned in to a specific problem or issue, the mind/body energy system is “straightened out,” and the energy becomes available so we can heal.  That’s why it’s called EFT – emotional freedom technique.

You make a statement and then tap on the end points of the body’s meridians or energy pathways thinking about whatever it is that you want to work on.   I have no idea how it works or IF it works but since we did it in his office I haven’t stood in the kitchen looking for something to eat.  One day isn’t a cure, so we’ll see how it goes.

If you have had success with EFT, can you let me know?

I had another visit with the nutritional psychologist today.  I really didn’t feel like going.  Someone very close to me committed suicide yesterday and I was gutted.  All the things that go through your mind at a time like that – I should have called her more often, I should have checked on her, etc., just left me feeling pretty crap.

But I kept my appointment because I figured maybe he could help me sort it out.  Dot wasn’t happy and left a suicide note saying as much.  The shrink asked me if I felt guilt over her death and I honestly don’t.  She’s 10,000 miles away in Maine but I do wish I had taken the time to tell her how much it meant to me for her to be in my life.

So then we moved on to reasons why I might eat to feel better.  We talked about my parents and especially my mother and he asked if I felt loved by her.  I said that she never told me she loved me but she did cook my favorite foods from time to time.  I knew when she cooked my favorites that she cared about me and wanted me to feel special.  So I’ve had all that baggage for years – equating eating with being loved.  Today was just the uncovering of these emotions.  I have no idea how to fix it!

Then we talked about why I tend to put myself last.  I rarely say no to anyone.  He asked why I had such a difficult time doing that and then he asked me how I felt when someone asked me to do something.  If I want to do it, I feel great because I love doing things for other people.  If I don’t want to do it, I feel bad.   Then it came to me as if a light went on over my head.  I don’t say yes for the people who are asking, I’m saying yes so I don’t feel bad.   I don’t know how to fix this either but both of these revelations made me feel terrific.

I just might find my way out of this emotional eating thing after all.

I’ll keep you posted.