I’ve decided that once I have the gall bladder out next week, I’m going to find someone here in New Zealand to give me my first fill in my gastric band.  When I was first banded I was never hungry and lost weight very quickly.  Then I got sick with gallstones and other problems and dieting was off the list of things I should do.

Now that I’m pretty well sorted out, I’ve begun getting hungrier.  I think it’s probably emotional hunger from all that’s going on in my life but I’m not happy about it.  When I was first banded I ate next to nothing and was never hungry.  I want to go back to that.

The final realization that I could put it all back on came tonight when hubby opened a Cadbury Fruit and Nut© bar.  I wanted some.  I wanted a lot of some.  I didn’t eat heaps but I think I’d have gone to bed wishing I’d had some chocolate if I hadn’t had some.  I didn’t eat the whole thing; there’s still more than half the bar left after both of us ate some.  But still…  I worry that I’m going backward instead of forward.

My good friend Cheryl tells me to get the fill.  “Let the band work for you because what you’re doing is dieting,” she says.  She might be right.  I went through all the bother of having this thing put on my stomach, why not let it help me not feel hungry all the time.  Then all I need to do is work on the emotional eating issues.

I weigh less than 150 pounds now and I want to weigh 120 (or less) so I don’t have a million miles to go but I want to see some progress.  Maybe I should make a deal with myself.  Lose 10 pounds and I get.. something.  It might have to be pretty good to get me really motivated.

This entry was posted on Friday, July 25th, 2008 at 5:40 am and is filed under Gastric Banding. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.